hey.

yeah, i know it's in the afternoon okay? but

i am just gonna type for a bit. currently alone

in school feeling super uncomfortable. just broke

my own record by consuming 4 cans of coffee

today. feel like puking already. later still gotta

attend retest and badminton. can die.

*

you know, i find girls frigging scary especially

those that are super girly, you'll never know

what they actually think about you. scary

people. i would rather be alone than to be with

them. it's better off this way before i start losing

the rest of them. conflict that's avoided is always

a better choice. hopefully it'll get better over time.

*

i feel damn uncomfortable, like something's just

not right, but i can figure out what. guess i gotta

choose my friends wise-ly. i feel like i was frigging

back in secondary school, what happened during

the last year, the feel of being left out and stuff.

pretty much like betrayal, but not that. it just

feels like history repeating itself. guess i was already

used to it. since no one actually stayed. in the end

everyone would leave. it's just a matter of time.

that's the cold, hard truth that i learnt from my

secondary school. people would never voluntarily

care for you. there's always a price. it had always

been like that, or rather it had never changed, not

once. just cause you can't have things your way,

think on the bright side. it could be worst. just cause

someone did something wrong doesn't mean they

deserved to be treated this way. we could pretend

and feign ignorance, i tried, it don't always work that

way. eventually it'll hit you hard that you once

treated someone like that hence it's happening to you.

then you realise, it's called karma. you can choose

not to believe it, but only you know it'll ever

come back and haunt you.

*

(wheel of fortune)

we'll never be at the top all the times. everyone falls

and pick themselves up. if you never gave them a

chance, don't expect to get one in return. it'll

hurt like hell to learn this. i swear. i've been through it.

losing someone as close to you like a family.