*

"trying is what's important thing in the

relationship. even if i fail, i will try harder.

the main point is not to be afraid."

*

"the happiest people around you are in

fact the saddest."

*

life is full of wonders. everything is

unpredictable. don't you think? i got

the news yesterday that one of my RED

CAMP GLs passed away. Today i knew the

reason. It was due to some relationship problems.

what i really felt, was that where were her close

friends when that happened? why wasn't she strong

enough to pull through it? but in the end, all these

questions seemed pointless doesn't it? a happy

cheerful girl. gave up, cause she isn't strong enough

to move on. but honestly, where were those friends

that you treated as family members? why aren't they

there for you when you were at your weakest point?

other people might think. it's such a pity. why is she

so stupid? why didn't she tell us? in fact maybe she

did. maybe she put up a strong front to not let people

around her get worried. that's why. i just feel sad.

when my relationship ended, suicide was actually

one of my options. i swear. during those times,

everywhere i went, everything i did reminded me of

what we did. the times and memories. it hurt like hell.

i put up a strong front, acting like nothing is affecting

me. i will move on and put it all behind me. but my

friend just came up and said,"don't bullshit with me."

it ended all my acts on being fine. during those times,

i actually filled up all my schedules to make sure at

all times, i'll be so busy that i won't even have the

time to think about anything. make sure that i don't

even have the time for a breather. stuff all kinds of

stupid times to make sure i would suffocate. i even

tried putting a penknife on my wrist to see the blood

flow, but a phone call saved me. that was how bad it

was. so i am here today, i really had to thank, teddy

bear, vivian(jw) for being there for me when i really

wanted to give up on everything. in conclusion, a

phone call, a text, a little concern could

really help them a lot. if it actually happened, don't

just ask if they are okay. ask them personally

how they are doing. the loneliness is really

overwhelming...

*

alright back to the actual post. yesterday, i braided

my hair together with chloe. then went over to

harris(i think) to meet andrew's friends to chill.

awesome people i've met. but i feel kinda out of

space. oh well. olympics badminton gave me some

entertainment(:

today won most of my matches. kinda gave my all

today after hearing the news. like trying hard to

not think about it. yeah that's all i guess.

*

sleep tight people(:

nights(: