struggle

hey there people.
okay actually i didn't
want to talk about it. 
but my friend did so yeah.
here goes nothing.
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recently i have been stressing about 
my CCAs though i shouldn't be.
so it ain't about track though. its about drama.
if there is really no need to have that character why have it in the first place. most people that had their lime light in the first production is going to stay the same in the second production. how about those that didn't? honestly zach ain't the only role i think have no meaning. i feel the role sarah too. i mean how is their roles related to the script? maybe it's just me that doesn't understand the script. oh well. my apologies. adding on, may be cause i didn't attend most of the sessions cause i have camps and training, hence, my name didn't appeared in the production. honestly, when i wasn't tagged in the post, i assumed that i wasn't in play.(not needed in the production) following session, i went back, you guys asked if i wanted to be in the play, i said i am fine with anything. following session, nothing was decided. fine. i wasted my time walking around doing practically nothing with justin. we left first, not because we got better things to do. is cause i felt out of place and pissed cause i could have attended track and field training. the script actually have pieces and parts where i don't see how it fits in. isn't the script about the neighborhood life? why are there clothes talking to each other? maybe it's a little comedy. then again, my apologies. previously, it was said that if we miss 2 sessions of drama we'll be kicked out of the play. so now, when i don't have a role i have to go down, do nothing, so i won't be out of the play. talk about irony. then i got a text today saying i am on standby crew, doing props. thanks. at least i got something to do from now on. i guess.
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yeah. so that's about it. kaki was talking
about it too. he said he don't want me to 
be controlled by my activities. i should be
the one controlling them. jerome just say
i should go for the one i am comfortable in. 
don't be afraid to make the wrong choice.
 am still a teenager. studies first.
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so yeah have been texting the boy 
think that's the only thing that lights
up my day recently. hopefully i could
hold up a little more. 
ok that's all folks
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nights