hold on by the memories, stuck in the past.

not willing to move on.

*

and so there she 'talking' to him through the phone.

she feels the tears at the brim of her eyes.

He never knows what's wrong unless he saw the

tear coming out. other than that, he would never

know what was going on. she did not want to have

high expectations for him, as she thought it was

unfair. nevertheless she still wishes a little more

warmth from him. as the day goes, she loses hope

and thought,' is it that difficult?' the feeling of

everything being a waste of time overwhelmed

her. it was like an investment on the wrong kind of

things. recalling there he is over the phone doing

something that interest him. pretending that she

never existed unless she started talking. life's

pathetic. no, she's pathetic.

*

*

a small story to share but all in all it's just another

story. well today have been a bad day for me. well,

thanks to someone i would like to push my blame

to, instead of blaming myself. things went wrong

so, i have got to dye my hair black again. in life,

when people ask you politely you will definitely

agree and get down to it. however when they

scold you and make you do something there would

be a part inside you wanting to be defiant and just

purposely do things the wrong way. well i think

everyone would have the same way of thinking.

well think i am going to end here. my mood isn't

right today and something is making it worst.

at times i hope i could just leave it all behind but

i am not brave enough to.but i have thought would

you be better off alone? and so you don;t have to listen

to me crap all night long? and you will never be pressurized

by me telling you that you never knew what i wanted.

ain't that better this way? argh. thinking of it bring me to tears

shall stop then. nights.

*

buh byes~