waiting

i feel as though i can't wait any longer.
it's hard to receive waves of rejection
after rejection. yes the first few times
it may be bearable. but after? the
feeling just get worst and worst. it's like
knives gliding your skin again and again.
it's like the relief you get from cutting
yourself. it;s pain but it drives you to try
again. but you never know how long you
can take all of it before you finally fall.
crashing down to hit hard on the concrete
ground. that's my life to all of you out there.
*
nights