3am

at 3 those awake, probably due to test and assignments. but for some just suffering from insomnia. others, maybe awake having talks with their friends to catch up with their life. well, it's the best time to think though. think about what have happened recently, reflect on your own life. laugh at the funny moments and improve on those that you think you may have done wrong. it's a blog that i have not touched in days maybe weeks. so this time no tumblr photos just thoughts.
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sometimes, things happen and it's hard to forget in that period of time. everyone have their own expertise and there is a reason they are good at it. for example, putting on make up. no one started as an expert. people spend time and sometimes years to master it to be where they are at now. they spend time to research on it, be it youtube, websites. so you get what i mean. for me, i spend years training on my badminton to be where i am now. i may not have trained hard but i spend time and watch videos to learn. i may not be like the school teams and play like nationals but at least i can play and to say the truth, i am proud of it. well, it isn't badminton this time. i spend hours to learn the different hair styles. to watch is one thing, to know how to do it is another. i tried many times to learn and to perfect it. from a person that only knows how to tie a pony tail to one that can do cornrolls and fish tails i think i am good enough. so the thing is, if you are good at something, i will give it to you. i respect you for it. but if you know something to nothing, please don't comment on other people's hard work. you should feel ashamed of it. people spend hours and days to master something you don't bother doing. who are you to comment on their expertise? who are you to judge their expertise. respect them for god's sake. they may spend hours doing something they suck at to get where they are now. so what if you are talented? it still does not give you the rights to take them away from where they are now, even if you think you are better at it. if all the efforts are being judged, don't you think it's unfair? maybe it is how it is. being judged to act as an motivation and all but i know this time, you are no better than me and you'll never gain my respect like how others do. being part of the society taught me that. i choose not to accept it and i choose to not respect you anymore. cause time and time again you just prove me wrong. trying to be that person that you think you are but, too bad you're just degrading yourself every second it pass. congrats to you. hypocrite.
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the next is feeling empty. after the first time, you just feel that nothing would ever be the same again. maybe we just have to wait for meeting the right one again. currently, i feel i will never get the feeling back again. i don't know how much longer i can hold on. i have never thought of dating someone younger then myself. cause it's hard to understand and stuff. or rather i just hate communicating and spending time to understand them. being the mature one always means more responsibility and i don't like it. i always want to be one that sit back and relax. little things like this don't use to bother me and i feel that maybe after time i won't be so bothered by it. again i was wrong and this time, i don't want to be bothered by it anymore.
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sorry for the long post.
actually i don't care.
to all those readers out there,
listen to miley cyrus we can't stop
good day, good night whatever
sleep tight(: