over again
*
the sound of the bus engine hummed in my ears. the distant honking of cars. the pitter patter of the rain on the windows. the coldness of the glass. the beeping of alighting and departing passengers. slowly i opened my eyes. outside everything looked grey. the dark clouds hovering the city, the heavy traffic, people running across roads and seeking shelter. life goes on as usual from where i was. kids playing in the rain, parents yelling. this is the exact same place we were a year ago just a little or rather much happier as compared to now.
*
the warmth transmits from his hands through our interlocked fingers. he was humming westlife songs at random. my head was on his shoulder attempting to get the lyrics right together with his humming. we were on our way to meet my friends. i was rather nervous when he wanted to meet my friends out of the blue.
*
hey chris can we meet your friends tomorrow?
what?
meet your friends. i want to let them know how grateful i am for them to be by your side until i am here and i am stealing you away from them!
WHAT! CHRISTAIN GLENN TYLER NO IN HELL'S WAY AM I LETTING YOU SAY THAT TO THEM. at least not the last part.
i was kidding. chill babe, but i really want to get to know them. we have been together for a month already and i still have no idea who your friends are though they might already know who i am.
when do you want to meet them?
as soon as possible
how about tomorrow?
yupp sure. for now it's my fun time. come here darling
*
both hands tucked into the pockets of my hoodie, i walked over to the cafe. upon opening the door, the bell jingled catching the attention of customers sitting nearby.
the usual.
one caramel macchiato?
yes please.
a few minutes later someone sat beside me. i didn't lift my head. the scene was too terrifying to be true.the way he sat, legs crossed between the shins. the kind of denim torn jeans that christain would wear, timberlake shoes, christain's favourite.
christain? i asked slowly raising my head. at this point i could see he wore a white v-neck t-shirt with a grey scarf over his neck. the lazy kind of sitting position. christain.
sorry i think you got the wrong person but i'm not christain. my name is christ though, close enough.
he got hazel eyes, his skin a little tanned, about 2 ear studs decorated his left ear. his jaw was distinguish. his eyes, those eyes.
sorry, you just dress like someone i used to know.
oh no worries. meeting someone here?
yeah. i am meeting felicia. not that you would know who-
felicia evans? i am meeting her today too.
okay, this is getting weird.
you have no idea. felicia said standing behind the both of us.
you look like you got some explaining to do, i thought it was just the two of us. i mumbled
okay okay, christine this is christ tyler. christ, this is christine glenn. now all of us know each other. she said cheerfully.
i have no idea what you are thinking but i am leaving. i gulped down my drink and stood up
come on, don't be a mood spoiler.
for as far as i know, i don't feel obligated to care about how you feel. liss i will text you later.
with the strength i didn't need i pushed the door and marched out. what was liss thinking? i told her i wasn't ready. i thought she understood. christain will be the only guy for me. i just can't think-
hey, slow down.listen. felicia wasn't at fault she just didn't have the time to accompany you today so she thought that i could take her place in accompanying you for today. i just got to know a few minutes ago.don't rage okay? you cool?
it's alright, sorry for throwing a tantrum just now.
no worries, sorry for calling you a mood spoiler.
why not, you just head home? i'll visit the places i want to myself.
hey, what's that for, i'll accompany you for today. where is it you're heading to?
i don't think you should come.
come onnnnn, where is this mysterious place?
the cliff.
you're not suicidal right?
maybe i'll push you off the cliff.
that's the spirit!let's go
*
the journey there was peaceful, although silence hung in the air. it was the kind of comfortable silence. he didn't ask any questions. soon after he fell asleep, his head dangling mid air, moving left and right. then his head was lying on my shoulder. i stiffened and relax. he's tired.
hey chris wake up, we're here.
aww damn. i was having a good dream.
we walked up the stairs.
so what are we here for?
to visit someone i love
your parents?
nope. my husband.
he looked like he got tons of things to say but he just kept them to himself. i was grateful for that. the climb up the hill was tedious but the view from here never fail to amaze me and at the end, closest to the cliff is where christain tombstone stands. we made our way there. christ walking behind closely, but never beside me at any point of time.it was a matter of seconds before we reach the tomb stone.
hey babe i am here. sorry liss and dylan couldn't make it today. do you know? they are getting married next summer? how are you? have you been good? how evil, you're making me look bad talking to myself. i just dream of you the other day. remember how you used to tickle me to wake up? how we argued who to make breakfast? how you always like to carry me to the bathroom? i miss you christ. i hoped you're doing well. there isn't a day that go by without my thoughts filled with you.
the tears flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks. every single time i come over and see him gone i remember i caused his death yet he said live well, find happiness.the accident ran through my head the world spun and i lose my balance. steady hands caught me before i fell.it was christ. without putting much thought i turned and cried uncontrollably on his shoulder saying why repetitively. christ just pat my head and said, it's been hard on you, you've been strong, you've done well. when i've stopped crying, i took the letters out of my bag. chris these are the letters for this month. i'll be going now. i took a lighter and burn the letters. stood up turned and walked away. when i was at the bottom of the hill, christ isn't around. i waited at the bottom of the stairs. a few minutes later he appeared strolling down the stairs.
sorry, i lost my way. so where do you wan to go now?
we drink to drown our sorrows.
*
that's all for today's over again.
be back for more probably next week or this sunday yeah?
nights midnight bunnies!!!
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