I lost them

“I’m sorry.”

Then, he heard the sound of his front door opened and closed. There he just sat, staring at the wall, as the tears leaked through his eyes. He broke. It wasn’t the apology that he wanted; he just needed her to answer the question. Even till the very end, she couldn’t answer him. It was just a simple yes or no question. “Did you ever love me?” he asked. There was only pity in her eyes. But he didn’t want her pity, he wanted an answer. All the laughter through the phone calls at 2am. The flowers he bought for her on valentines. The dates where they held hands throughout. Where they always started and ended with a long kiss. What do all those mean now? Was it all just a show? After the movie ends that’s where the story ends too? What about happy endings were they all lies for kids? Now, he sat on his bed staring ahead at the wall. He wanted to be pissed, tear all the letters that she sent, throw all the gifts that he had received. He wanted to burn his lungs by screaming and crying out loud. But he can’t. He could only hear the sound of his fragile heart shattering into pieces. The pieces that can never be fixed back into a whole again. He stared blankly at the wall and wondered if there was anything that he had done wrong. But he couldn’t think of any. And in that moment the only thought that came to his mind was 

“I lost her.”

*

“I’m sorry.”

She left the keys in the palm of his hands. She didn’t answer his question. She couldn’t bring herself to. She cannot afford to break down in front of him. He was still on his bed. It was quiet. She could feel the tears coming out. She quickly walked to the front door, opened, let herself out and closed it. Outside, salt water decorated her face. She sobbed so hard but no sound came out. She wanted to scream and shout all her feelings out. To tell him how much she loves him. To tell him “yes, I love you.” To tell him “Wait for me.” She was torn apart by her decisions. She wanted him to be by her side so bad. She wanted him to be patient as she settles the thing that's going on in her family. She wants him, she really does. She needs him. The kind of talks they had in the middle of the night. The way he holds her tight and tells her everything is alright. The way he said her name and the echo of his voice runs through her veins. The way he held her hands tightly, telling her he would never let go. The way he looks at her like it was the only thing he could capture. She knows that he was the only one for her, but she shouldn’t be so selfish. She leaned against the wall as her legs gave way. She broke. And at that point of time the only thought that came to mind was

“I lost him.”

*

I know i don't usually post things in the middle of the series.

but i just followed what i feel like typing and got this.

Here's to a ungrateful bitch of mine though he will never be able to read this post.

Goodnight midnight bunnies & take care :3