over again
*
he stood outside the white door. what seemed like seconds had turned to minutes and from minutes to hours.time had never gone faster or any slower than that. he took out the phone from his pocket and dialed the number again. come on, come on, pick up the phone. the call wasn't answered again. urghh. how long are you gonna make me wait? it was about 11 in the morning. he had probably made about ten calls to wake her up. he look at his watch and then to the door. he sighed then leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down till he was in sitting position. his phone stationed in front of him. the black screen allowing him to see his reflection. then he said out loud.
you. yes you. why are you doing so much for her. this isn't part of the plan.
his left hand ran through his hair, then he sighed again. he placed his phone by his side and lean backwards. what the hell are you doing, christ? his head was filled with questions that he was unable to answer. then he thought about her. why must it be her? she has already fallen to such a stage whereby she couldn't sleep. another depressing thing that might happen to her might just drive her insane. in the worst case scenario she would probably just commit suicide. was he willing to take the risk of taking her life in order to complete the task he was given? is it worth it? there were so many questions that it made his head throb. he threw both of his hands up. frustrated at the plan and himself but mostly himself. he reach out for the paper bag and took out his breakfast. a bagel with ham and cheese as well as a cup of caramel macchiato. a sip of his drink and a bite of his food one after another, soon he was finished with his breakfast. then he picked up his phone and attempt to make another call. the same outcome, no one answered the call. sitting by the door, he waited staring aimlessly. slowly as the minutes passed, his eye lids grew heavier and heavier and soon he dozed off.
*
he woke up drenched in sweat. the sun was shining directly at his face. it was too warm for him to continue sleeping. he took off his shirt and put on the extra singlet that he had brought. then, he rubbed his eyes and take a look at his watch. it's one in the afternoon. he reach around for his phone while rubbing his eyes. it was on the right. he unlocked the phone and dialed christine's number. the first ring, second ring, third, so on so forth. there was no answer again. his feet tapping to the rhythm of the ringtone. just then the door opened. the door blocked half of christine's body. her voice cracked when she spoke.
what time is it?
one in the afternoon.
and how long have you been here?
ever since ten?
come on in.
she retreated to make some way for him to get in. for a moment he lost sight of her then a loud thud followed.
CHRISTINE!
he hovered her both hands on her shoulders. then he saw it. the red streak on her wrists. blood. it had dried already, which meant that happened last night. he scooped her up and brought her back into the room. blood drained from his face. her pillows and bed were stained red, with her blood.
FUCK!
the first thing that came to his mind was to clean the wound then bandage it. he rushed to the toilet grabbed a towel that was on the rack and soaked it with warm water. he was in the state of panic. then he rushed out and pressed the towel on her wounds.
are you okay? he said, with his voice trembling.
what were you thinking?
huh?
i told you if you couldn't sleep at night or anything just give me a call! what's the meaning of this?
he had raised his voice. anger and worry filled his mind at high levels. she had stayed quiet. it was something personal, he thought. then she said in a timid voice.
i don't know. i just dreamt about what happened in the past and i can;t take the pain and looked for salvation.
after hearing what she said, he softened. his heart ached for her. such a frail person yet she smiles on most days, holding everything in. he reached out for her neck and pulled her close.
just cry, as loud as you want. i am here for you. just cry, you need it.
it started as a soft sob then she was really crying. his hands were glued to her back moving up and down and his chin was to her hair, murmuring that everything would be fine. sh ehad cried for a long time then she ended up falling asleep on his laps. slowly and carefully he pulled away from her. he left to look for the first aid kit. it was in the living room. he found it quickly and took care of the wound. then, he had to change the bed sheets and pillow cover, remove the bottles and what seemed like a razor blade. everything was done within the next half an hour. christine was still in deep sleep. christ couldn't make up his mind to stay or leave. if he stayed everything would ruined the plan that he was supposed to execute. but if he left, god knows what she will do next to scare the shit out of him. he walked over towards her, hands reaching out for her face. he tucked the loose strands behind her ear and touched her face. christine moved, her face cringed like she smelled something bad and looked peaceful again.
christ don't leave me alone.
she muttered. with that the last thought of inner conflict had vanished. fuck it, i'll deal with it tomorrow. he thought. he slide under the covers and placed his arms under he head, kissed her on the forehead and closed his eyes.
sleep tight christine.
*
that's all for today midnight bunnies(:
sleep tight!!
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