over again, thirteenth step

over again
*
i reached over to the side of the bed. empty as usual, why would christ stay anyway? everything was in bit and pieces. i woke up, went to the door, fell, he brought my to bed and help me clean the house, then he's gone. well, a person got to work. i got up and went to the bathroom. the cold water splashed on my face making everything come into focus. those eyes staring back at me were bloodshot from yesterday's crying. then the gaze went down. the protruding collar bones, the toned arms then my miserable wrist. it was wrapped in cloth or rather bandaged. i removed the cloth, wincing as the wound had stick to the cloth. the red lines had turned brown. with the other hand i run through the scars. what had used to be smooth skin had changed into a rough surface. the wounds had created what seems like a small hill on a flat road. looking back, i had brought all these upon myself, i am the only one to blame. i walked out the bathroom, out of the room, towards the living room. then the smell hit me, the smell of food. cautiously, i moved towards the kitchen .there was a man. from the back it resembled christian. the way he moves and how he likes to hum songs when he is preparing the food. i moved towards him and hugged him from the back. the man went rigid. slowly he turned around.
what are you doing?
seeing his face, i released my grip and i moved back.
hugging people brings joy. anyway whatcha cooking?
breakfast? it's 10 already.
oh. morning then.
anyway you might want to change into something less revealing.
nah. i'll just lie on the couch and let the lazy cells grow in me.
lazy people.
i smiled and walked towards the living room. once i sat on the couch i looked out the window. there were birds chirping on the tree branches where the sun shone brightly at. i closed my eyes and listened to the surroundings. christ's humming and the birds chirping in harmony. it was a beautiful sound.
breakfast's ready!!
he yelled over from the kitchen.
alright.
he brought the food over to the living room. it really smell great.
come on get your lazy bum off the couch.
he pulled my hands and shook me repetitively.
i'm up! i'm up! gosh.
it was eggs with bacon and espresso. i was famished as i didn't eat anything yesterday. i gobbled down the eggs and bacon then i slowed down to enjoy the coffee. it was hot. throughout the whole time christ just stared at me with his mouth agape.
is my cooking that good or you're just hungry.
i am hungry. i didn't eat anything yesterday.
he jerk his head from his food towards me.
i will really stuff food down your throat the next time i find out you're not eating anything.
i looked at him and stuck my tongue out.
you can try. if you ever find out.
oh is that a challenge?
sounds like it.
bring it on.
the whole day just went on with us teasing each other. he didn't ask anything about the cutting or anything related to it. i was thankful for it. we just laze around talking about first impressions and randomly jumping topics. his company was comfortable and fun. like with him there are no worries and awkward moments. he cooked lunch and dinner. after dinner we finally ran out of topics to talk about.
hey i've got this movie that i rented but haven't got the time to watch. wanna watch?
it's 9pm already.
come on. accompany me? pretty please?
i gave him the best puppy look i could manage.
okay fine.
it was a thailand horror movie called coming soon. it's about people going into the movie after watching it. so in the end they found out during the filming of the movie the main character died in the last scene. hence, she is doing that to take revenge on those that want to watch her die. throughout the whole movie, christ was hugging on to the pillow so tightly that i was afraid that the feathers inside the pillow would burst. even after the movie he was still trembling. it was a hilarious moment for myself.
so you going home?
ermm.. is it alright if i stay over?
why? don't you have work tomorrow?
can i just stay over?
are you scared?
YES I AM. CAN I JUST STAY OVER?
gosh. you don't have to shout. go ahead and stay over.
i started laughing at him and he just pout.
he took the right side of the bed while i took the left. within minutes it was dead silent.
hey christ if you're awake i just want to thank you for today and yesterday. i really appreciate the time and effort you put in me. making sure that i am not alone and all. i am really thankful for it. yeah that's all. words prolly can't express how thankful i am but you know. goodnight.
i'm awake. i just want to do it. you don't have to thank me.
he turned to face me. our eyes connected. through his gaze there was a million feelings that i received. before i know what was happening his lips were on mine. the feeling of being kissed was so strange yet familiar at the same time. i returned his kiss, his breath were hot and heavy. slowly one by one the pieces of clothing disappears, one thing lead to another and in the end our limbs were intertwined. no words were said and that was the end for that night.
*
that's all for today.
i am sorry for the shitty template that i have right now but,
hope you enjoyed this post. i've tried my best to keep it PG13.
sleep early and sleep tight(:
goodnight midnight bunnies(: