over again, seventeenth step

over again
*
i invited ian into the house. he still haven't said why he was here. there, he sat on the couch, holding on to the mug i just gave him. he kept looking around, as though looking for traces of christian left in the house.
so why are you here?
well, i was around the area, so i thought i should drop by.
just say the truth ian. i know you wouldn't drop by without a reason.
although it has been a year since we met, but he was still the same old ian. the way he always played with his fingers when he is nervous and how he always avoid people's gaze when he's lying.
it's gonna sound weird, but don't get angry or anything.
okay.
my parents would like you to move in with me.
what? why?
they heard about what happened between you and christ.
wait, you know christ?
yeah man. every month of christian's death, he would visit us. although in the beginning we would just chase him away and call him a murderer, he always comes back. he would also send us flowers, cause we didn't tell him where christian was buried. after some time, we cleared the fog and realized he was kind of a victim of the accident too. it was either him or christian who have died. so yeah.
you guys knew about it, yet no one bothered telling me?
we just didn't find the need to. plus, i kind of knew what happened to you when christian died.
i could feel the colour draining from my face. is that the reason why christian's parents wanted me to live with ian? so that he could take care of me?
and no. they don't know. if you are thinking if my dad and mum knows about it.
oh..
hey, if you are really against the idea of staying with me, let me stay with you for a couple of days. as long as i feel that you can take care of yourself i'll leave.
okay. fine.
i didn't even need to think about it. i would rather die than to leave this apartment. it's the only thing left that connects christian to me. all the memories, happy ones and sad ones, it all revolves around this place. i sucked in a deep breath and told myself. i just have to behave for these few days and it'll be all over.
*
that's all for now
goodnight midnight bunnies