over again, step eighteen

over again
*
having a man in my house overnight is not something new, but it had never have any good outcomes. christian, christ now ian. it was night time by now. ian had took the spare blanket and pillow and made the couch his bed.his eyes were half closed, his arm hanging over, making it seem as though he is falling off the couch. it was too small for it, or rather he was too big for the couch. i moved towards it, careful not to make any noise. when i was over i pulled the blanket to make sure he won't catch a cold the next morning. then it caught my eyes. his features, the long eyelashes, his sharp nose, and that perky mouth. it was so like christian. my fingers reached out towards his face. he grabbed me. his eyes shot open. it was clear blue unlike christian's that are hazel.
christine, christine ava
i pulled my hand away. how does he know my last name?
how do you know?
the orphanage. i was adopted too, by christian's parents. remember the kid that you saved from the bullies?
nathan?
yeah. i am that kid. 
oh my god. you're nathan? all these time? you didn't even bother mentioning?
christine,i didn't know until christian mentioned that you were adopted from that orphanage.
once again, he pulled my hand and gave me a hug. ian is nathan. nathan that only friend i had when i was young. that friend that is willing to do anything for me. oh god, he's back. he's come back. i moved backwards, out of his embrace. looking at his features, from the blurred memories of a child, i could not see any resemblance. seems like puberty had hit him hard. there were no words. he was just staring at me like the last time we met back at the orphanage. those clear blue eyes,there were so much mystery held in them. i couldn't figure it out. then his face moved closer, he pulled me closer, so close that i could feel his breath.
what are you doing?
Christine. i didn't come here cause of my parents, they did not give me such order.
then why are you here?
i am here cause i heard that christ is here, and i don't want to lose my second chance.
what second chance?
i don't ever want to lose you again, christine. i, i like you. 
what?
i was startled by his confession. he is christian's half-brother, the in-laws of my late husband's. he could he have harbored such thoughts. judging my reaction he continued.
Once i had found out that you were christine ava, i really wanted to break you and christian up, but their family, they had brought me so much joy in my life. and also, when i met you, you were so happy. i didn't want to break that bubble of happiness so i kept quiet. then the accident and christ came along. i feel like i shouldn't waste this chance. at least i've got to get my feelings out. even if you reject me.
although he is nathan, the kid i used to stick with when i was younger, the fact that he is christian's brother plays a bigger part. it just felt wrong to accept this. then, i stood up.
i can't accept this. i  hope you'll leave tomorrow morning. i am sorry nathan.
before he could reply, i strode back into the bedroom. and really, nothing good ever happens when i guy stays over.
*
that's all for now.
goodnight midnight bunnies